How to get back in control and have space to start living again after loss

11 July, 2022

When we experience grief and loss, of any kind we can feel stuck. Our hearts can feel broken. We are aware that we don’t feel happy, that we have lost that drive and passion for life that we once had.

I know from personal experience of my own grief that I really did neglect my emotions, I even misunderstood them, I didn’t want to acknowledge them as somehow in my mind if I did I would have to face the truth and I didn’t want to face the truth, I was a long way from wanting to face the truth and I certainly didn’t want to tell others the truth!!

What did I do with my emotions?

I supressed them, I allowed them to stay in my heart, preventing me from living my life how I really wanted to live it. You see grief is emotional and not intellectual, grief is 24/7, grief is exhausting. I was exhausted from constantly battling with my own voice, answering my own questions, as well as putting on a very good front to fool others. I was really only fooling myself.

Packing away those emotions.

We seem to pack our emotions up and store them in our heart where they can lay inactive, you may even feel like you have dealt with them and handled the loss. However, because you actually resisted your emotion it just got stored in your heart and neglected. It may feel like you have dealt with it until BOOM, it jumps out at you and slaps you round the face. Our emotions can be triggered by another event, smell, piece of music. I couldn’t listen to Delilah without bursting into tears and that in turn triggered a very painful image of my sister as she died. This caused me to drive those emotions and feelings even deeper.

Grief is cumulative and cumulatively negative, we store all those losses that we have encountered over the years and if we don’t let them out in a healthy way we can start to feel the physical and mental impact of them in our daily life, with very little energy to want to do anything. Your life is fighting with your emotions and your mind will play the story of your loss over and over again as you try to answer your unanswered questions. Those ‘if only’ and ‘what if’ questions. Your constant chattering with yourself drives you mad.

These blocked emotions and your unfinished grief will continue to impact your life until you are prepared to face them and to let them go. Your grief will not heal on it’s own.

Are you ready to take back control and to begin again?

Please know that it is completely normal to have these emotions that we are so good at neglecting and misunderstanding.

By opening up our minds and allowing ourselves to discuss our emotions that have been caused by our loss and by working with them we can begin to move forward and release them.

If you want to take back control of your life and start living again I can provide that safe space that will allow you to tell your story. We will work together so that you can start living again after loss.

Contact me and arrange your free no obligation call.